This or that

Some Jehovah witness came to my door yesterday. They usually make their round in the area every few weeks .You can see them walking down the street. Men in one group women in another. Wonder why they do that. I have never had a couple come to my door its always two men or two woman.think I should ask?, are you two gay?.They say that only 144,000 people will go to heaven.if that's true then why are they trying to got more people to join .If I was one ill be at the kingdom hall saying, you know suzy the mormons are giving away free chocolate you should go check them out.hey bill did you know the Moslems are giving away free backpacks think of all the free watchtowers you'll be able to carry.i cant deal with a - women stay in the home- type of religion. This bird,s got wings and iam going to use them. I am a single parent and I don't have time to deal with that nonsense. I cant sit around and wait for some man to come take care of me .Most of them cant even take care of them selves.even the ones who can seems to be looking in anther direction if you get my drift.anyway Mr and Mrs roboto regroup at the end of the block and seem to discuss their next move which to go around the corner and start knocking on doors again and hand out more free watchtowers.maybe I should start a religion where everyone who went through a living hell on earth gets to go to heaven and the people who put them through it goes to hell with an extra 144,000.-mostly lawyers and auto mechanics

Pass me the gat

It was on the news yesterday .I don't know all the facts but an old lady had to take out an aggressor that was attacking her in her own house .A sometime sleep over who probaly tried to take kindness for weakness. It happens you know. You cant be nice to everybody but then again maybe the old lady was a gangster from way back. Ma barker wasn't the only woman kicking up dust way back when.so when the woman attacked the old lady with a knife the old lady broke her off somthin proper.what they say about taking a knife to a gun fight these old black women have went throught a lot in their lives they are not as stupid scared and weak as many people think .Last month an old lady made a would be rapist feel sorry he ever came at her and I bet the inmates in the prison hes going to will make him feel even sorrier so the next time you're sitting next to an old lady that's humming listen real good she might not be humming amazing grace it might be brand Nubian,pass me the gat I gotta fight back I aint going out like a m---f---r.

I am coming out

No I am not gay just singing a song by Diana Ross see my blog has passed the one thousand reader mark .I know some people get that much I'm a week .But hey its hard to choose a topic when you have so much to say.the story's I could tell you will curl your toes.when you walk in on two well defined good looking,hmm,hmm hm.oh daddy .looking men locking lips.well they said when the British left India their military band play The World Turned Upside Down-the Australian national anthem is Waltzing Matilda-I should have expected it after all we found out Rock Hudson was gay. We knew Liberace was a little light in the loafers but rock?All the gay men I ever knew has never been in a closet except maybe to check out my wardrobe-girl I know you're not going to wear this-oh man the things I have seen.then there was the time my ex(we were together at the time) told me he got stuck in Florida because the friend he was with abandon him and he had to work odd jobs to get enough money to get back home and I believed him .Then the other day I googled him and found out he was in jail right here in town.i felt like sally after she found out that the great pumpkin was a beagle. I've been trick what a fool I was.and religion, don't get me started.i wont be taking any trips to jonestown any time soon to sample coolaid laced with cyanide nor will i be strapping on any backpacks. Leave that to Dora the explorer.as a matter of fact I avoid any religion that has jokes that end with the punchline-why is she out of the kitchen and where did she get those shoes-or any that teaches that a good woman is --and you can add whatever here--it probaly be obedient or subservient ,or can bake a cherrypie Billy boy Billy boy.and politics make wanna holla throw both my hands

Fifty ways to leave your lover

A true story .Lisa was having problems with her live in boy friend he was trying to become a part of her body she couldn't go any where with he following her and he aws suspicious of her .Where have you been, where are you going, he would ask her. Not out of concern for her safety. The little apple had its perils but she could take care of herself.he wasn't always like that at least it didn't show or maybe she didn't notice.hes just worried about me she would think .Now things have gotten to the point where she just a bird in a gilded cage and it was time to fly. But how do you leave someone who has become your shadow.she made a few phone calls from a friends house.and squirreled away a few dollars.she then set out to become the dutiful obedient girl she knew her boy friend wanted. One day she say lets go to the movies. She picks one she knew he would like and off they went. It was a good movie and he was really into it she says I have to go to the bath room do you want me to bring you something back from the concession stand ill pay -that's the sweetest bait you can use anything or anybody- she walks pass the restrooms pass the concession stand and out the door to her sisters waiting car they drove to her apartment and helped her brother inlaw finish loading her stuff into the uhaul that was backed up to the apartment door.she got all her stuff loaded got in her sisters car and it was goodbye yellow brick road. Four hours later the uhaul was backing up to her new apartment in another town. As for her ex I don't know what happened to him but I can pretty much imagine the look on his face when he got home

$40 bucks a pop

When you're down on your luck and your cash isn't flowing where do you go to get rid of a bad tooth .There's a place on ----- street that charges $40 dollars per tooth.the place was filled like the county jail day room -to quote ice cube-the looks on the people faces went from oh this hurts to somebody shoot me now. Well my tooth didn't hurt that bad and after looking at the faces of the people that came out after getting their tooth pulled I decided that my tooth didn't hurt at all. As a matter of fact I only came in to cool of an air conditioned room yeah that's it before I left I asked a patient about the procedure and he mumbled dribbled to me what happened said the doctor looked into my mouth and asked me if I wanted to get it pulled and I foolishly answered yes so he shot me with something to kill some of the pain then he walked away. About a minute later he came back and stuck something in my mouth and started pulling a minute later he was showing me my tooth and asking me if I wanted to keep it. I said ro ranks. He give me a prescription for penicillin patted me on the back and said pay on the way out .I asked .What about pain. He said .They said to buy extra strength tylenol. That's when my tooth really stopped hurting as a matter of it began to tickle not really it just that people with lips numbed by novacaine look and sound funny when they try to talk and this guy was cracking me up.

crackheads

Sooner or later you are going to meet one if you haven't already the thing is you never know who's one until its too late. They don't always look like Tyrone yelling- I want some crack.crackheads are dumb people who have gotten smart and inventive in procuring the one thing that motivates them crack.a crackhead can cash a check that you cant be it from out of town or from another planet they know someone who will cash it.they can sell things that you cant sell and they will try to sell you things that you didn't even knew existed.what I cant understand how can they just pop out of nowhere with a microwave oven push it in you face and say give me $10 for this.how do you walk around with a oven looking for a buyer and not attract attention. Do they have time portals that they slip into then zap they are on the other side of town.you lock you car and go into a store and when you come your mp3 player is gone. A regular crook would do some damage but a crackhead cant afford to get caught hes got to make that sale so he can get some crack. So zap into the portal and hes on the other side of town .You go home and your friend calls and say-

hey I just bought a mp3 player for $10 now we can trade CD's .

Grandma who ?

My ex mother inlaw is trying to get back into my children's life not that she ever really was apart of their lives.after fifteen years she expects them to take to her a duck takes to an oven -hmmmm roast duck- any way they are girls and they are like the cats they keep around the house standoffish .Is that a word.she never had any girls so she don't know the pleasure of having teenage girls around the house. If I was mean I would talk them into staying with her for awhile that'll teach her a lesson or two.were was she when they were teething or needed holding when they were getting their shots or making crayon drawings of I don't know what and telling them its pretty while trying not to laugh.they are asking me the same questions about her. where was she back then.these are girls that you cant buy off with promises of trips to belks and computers for college.these girl- as I have said -are teens and girls their age even the nice ones can be a handful their wits and tongues are sharp and if your not used to dealing with them they will send you home crying.well I've talk to my girls about visting their granma and they said no way.the thing is my exs mother don't understand why