You're not jiggling baby

There comes a time in every woman life when she notices that every thing has gone south. Now this doesn't happens over night. You don't get up one morning stand up and spoing,thoses puppies are pointing at your toes. in our culture that's bad thing we are obsessed with breasts, well men are anyway.they have more names for breasts than an Eskimo has for snow.some women equate breast size with attractiveness.they pump them up and push them up and expose just enough to get that attention.but it cant last. Gravity hasn't been laid off yet he's still gainfully employed and he's going to do his job, so forget the creams the silicon and the saline injections save your money and let nature do her job. A life time of backaches is enough and if the men aren't staring at you anymore just put a stick of chalk in your purse and when you are walking down the sidewalk drop down and write out the law of quadratic reciprocity using the Legendre symbol that should get you some attention

Into every life

Its official its now summer, I know it felt like it was summer six weeks ago but the powers that be says it isn't summer till the sun crosses the equator or something like that.its also the start of hurricane season the time when nature shows the southeast who's the boss.you think fiber can make can a person move? Consider a category four hurricane bearing down on him.a category one hurricane is a singing in the rain type of storm. Category two is the same with a faster tempo,category four is run forest run.i have only evacuated once before a storm it took four hours to get out of the county and six hours to find a shelter that had room for me and my kids we followed three city buses full of people to an abandoned school in wayback Georgia or whatever it was called with no food and nothing to sleep on the sad thing about it was that there were old people there alone some in wheel chairs.but the people in that town was good people. Someone came in (in the middle of the night mind you)saw what was needed and scrounged up some food for the old folks and kids. then other people began to arrive with blankets and sleeping mats.they didn't expect this but they responded to this bedraggled horde of savannahians with charity and kindness.I wont evacuate the next time there's a category four hurricane but its good to know that for those that do there's welcoming arms out there wait to ease their suffering

Growing pains

Yesterday while driving with a friend we passed house with a vegetable garden on the front lawn it was part lawn part farm I had to stop because the size of the cabbages on the front row. They were bigger than Lou rawls head and that's big.i have a vegetable garden but its in the back yard and nothing I grow ever gets as big as the stuff this man was growing (or woman I never got a chance to see whose garden it was)their tomatoes were big enough to lob at a bad comedian and do major damage-or a politician they all the same.to be able to go out into your backyard and pick you dinner is refreshing. And they seem to taste better than store bought produce . I can't get over those cabbages. I wonder what's in the back yard a shed carved out of a giant gourd?
(yup I growed it mysef)or a four legged chicken?. Remember that joke.(I don't know never been a able to catch him).Its good to have a hobby and growing things is one of the best. Better than trying to become a Hilton or listening to someone talk about why they ran away from their wedding.hey look Jennifer peas the size of your brains

Everybody's a star

Its easy these days to become an arthor of a best selling book all you have do is commit a crime or be involved in one or just be acquainted with someone that's disfunctional and boom you're on the best sellers list. You might even get a movie deal or a television special.But this isn't new like reality TV and tornadoes it comes in cycles (remember ,That's Incredible and Ripleys believe or not)I can't wait till this is over but I would really like to cash in on it while its fashionable. I know someone who says that they know someone who think that they might know someone who actually gave a thankyou wave when they were given a cut on a busy street and they did it while talking on their cell phone.wow courteous and talented I have got to locate that driver with the morals of a saint and the skills of a gymnast. now that's a best selling book.Do you know hard it is to find a driver with more skills than a chimpanzee. They applie makeup and they wreck,they drink coffee and they wreck, they try to eat a full course meal and they wreck.And then there's the phantom waver so skilled,so agile ,so chaching worthy. I got to get her story.

Its hot

Its hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk if that's how you like to cook your eggs. Its better to stay indoors under the fan. The brightness of the sun says come out but the heat says don't you dare and I can see that heat stroke peeking from behind that tree waiting on me.No i,ll sit here in my sun dress that wont see the sun today and get up every once in awhile and walk to the screen door and look out while wiping my forehead with a cool glass of ice tea. You know its funny how the kids cant hear you when you tell them to stop jumping on the bed but can hear the icecream man ten blocks away. Well alright here's the money. And by the way get me a bombpop and don't step on my egg it looks almost done

Moon walker

So mike gets to to moon walk away from an alledged child molestation conviction. I guess having money is an automatic get of jail card. People with money don't have to go to jail.i am not sure if he is guilty or not the circumstances surrounding him does seem strange an adult sharing a bed with kid that isn't related is odd. Sharing a bed with a kid that's related is annoying.like oj and Robert Blake and the ramseys he'll always have the air of suspicion around him and of course he,ll have his fans saying that hes just trying to relive the childhood that he never had but most people who want to recapture their youth dress up as aliens and go to startrek conventions and hang out with other people their ages I'm sure that there are adult peter pan fans out there somewhere

The sly fox knows many little tricks

When he was little my brothers friend told him that he knew where they could get some sweet plums fresh off the tree, they were in an neighbors yard. The old lady that lives there didn't care but they had to climb the fence to get them. My brother said that he thought that that didn't sound to good but the idea of getting some plums drowned out that noise so to the yard and over the fence they went they were so busy picking the sweet and juicy plums they didn't see the old lady and her grown son approach. She grabbed them and asked, what are you doing in my yard. My brother said he tried to explain to the lady how his friend told him it was okay by her.His friend told him that they had to climb the fence because the lady didn't want them walking through her house.The lady told her son to call the cops. He said the lady looked at them both when she said that they were going to go to jail then still staring at them she said I'm going to tell your mamas.She then turn to her son and and said you know what to do.She held on to my brother for a few minutes then let him. Go back over the fence the way you came she said.So back over the fence he went and home to mama waiting on the porch with a belt. The sly fox knows many littletricks but the hedgehog knows one big one